The Working Mother

Vacation = Full time mom

I am getting set to head out for a week of "vacation". I put that in quotes because a vacation isn't really what I am about to have. I am just leaving work for a week, so instead of being a working mom, I will be a full time mom for the next week.

Anyone who says that stay at home mom's have it easy has not spent 24/7 entertaining and tending to the demands of a 7 year old little boy. It's non-stop Uno and Wii and playing basketball. Everyone told me if I had two kids they would entertain each other, but I have a hard enough time managing my hectic job with one kid, I cannot imagine getting two kids dressed for school, 2x lunches made, 2x play dates scheduled.

Salary.com says that the full time "mom job" is worth $122,000 per year. And that doesn't count the playing part, that is for time spent making sure the house is kept up, the laundry done and the kids get fed. It's no wonder women go back to work, at least my high stress job comes with a real paycheck.

We will spend the next week fishing and hiking and enjoying mother nature.......My husband is smarter than me- he is only staying 3 days, then heading back to the office for some R and R.

Wish me luck.

Balancing parenting and politics

I'm a working mom who finds it challenging to balance doing a great job at work and doing a great job at home. The elections just ended and I look at Sarah Palin and Michelle Obama and wonder how many times a day they had to choose between doing what was right for their family and doing what they felt was right for their careers? I personally would never even consider a career in politics, especially at that level, as I find it hard to be away from my family for more than 2 days, never mind weeks at a time. And there seems to be a double standard when it comes to politics, as no one judged George Bush or Bill Clinton or Barack Obama for running for President and taking their attention off of their children.

Michelle Obama seems to have found a way to balance her family life with her own career, but now that she is moving into the White House, her career will have to take a back seat. And it will be a full time job just trying to help keep the girls grounded and "normal". I look at Michelle Obama and I see a smart, articulate and driven woman who has put her own goals on hold to help her husband reach his. Perhaps if Hillary Clinton had won instead of Obama, Bill would have had to be the one to sacrifice his career.

And then there is Sarah Palin, plucked out of obscurity to become John McCain's running mate. I wonder if she had to make a pros and cons list before accepting the VP nomination? Would she have agreed to become VP if it meant having her daughter's face splashed on the front page of papers and "ragazines"? I would like to think that she was just a bit niave; she had a 80% approval rating in Alaska, so she was probably not prepared for the onslaught of negative press directed at her 17-year old child. The press was pretty brutal with her too, she was seen as putting her own career before the well being of her family. My hope is that Sarah Palin will hold off on running again until her kids are grown, she is a young woman, so there is plenty of time for her to focus on her career. The median age for U.S. Presidents is 57 (at the time they take office) and by then, she won't have to choose between her kids and her career.

Rebalance every day

My blog is all about trying to balance career with motherhood. In my first posting I mentioned that I find it hard to hold myself up to the SuperMom ideal. There are days I am not even sure I am a good mom, much less a supermom. My 6-year old tells me often, and I quote here "Mom, you worry too much". Easy for him to say, he is 6 and his biggest concerns are how many Pokeman cards he has or learning now to use his Heely's.

A working mother that read my blog sent a note that really inspired me:

"Pay no attention to those Super Moms, you're a real-life example for your children. They'll need to find their own balance beam when they're adults and it will be easier for them that you're not the un-real SUPER version of a mom.  Re-balance every day! "

So my new mantra is about trying to rebalance everday. Yes, I had to attend a work function Saturday night, but I spent most of Saturday afternoon in the pool and bike riding with my son. Yes, I had a client event Thursday night and my son was asleep when I got home, but I took him to summer camp the next morning.

Two weeks ago I worked at my son's school for the first time all year, it was his Kindergarten graduation event. I was asked over and over again who I was because none of the moms knew me. I spent the morning rangling 150 Kindergarteners and spent the evening at a festive VIP grand opening for a client; now that's balance.

Now it's summer, which brings on a whole new set of challenges. Getting to camps, swim lessons, etc. I am grateful that I have a husband who is very involved in our kid's life, he does his share (and more) as necessary to keep the balance beam from tumbling over and cracking......maybe he should write a blog for working fathers.

Finding a way to balance motherhood and advertising

This blog is about balancing motherhood and a career in advertising. I asked some of my female co-workers if they would like to share their stories, and I thought this story was really lovely. I struggle with balance and I have a husband who is very involved in raising our child; my friend at work is a single mother and a really good one at that. Here's her story......

Sometimes mothers have a choice about whether they want to work outside the home– if you are single, you don't have that option, you have to provide for your family. The truth is mothers work hard in or out of the workplace. Times have not changed enough – women still do most of the work at home, regardless of whether they have a job.

When I considered having a child on my own, I was very glad I was working at a place where my co-workers and management supported me. And they have. They have given me the time to go to school functions, take my son to baseball practice, work from home when he is sick and everyone understands if I have to leave on a moment's notice, there are some things you just can't plan for.

My son is a teenager now and there are new challenges.  You would think that it would be easier now that childcare is not an issue. But it is actually even harder. Do you know what goes on in middle school? Sex, drugs, smoking, drinking. And I live in the safest city in the U.S. (thank goodness for that). So I am vigilant about where he is every day, who he is with, what he is doing. My cell phone is my lifeline to my child. If he does not answer for whatever reason, I start to worry until I hear from him.

So every day when my Outlook task reminder says to check on my son, I wait for the phone call that tells me that he is where he needs to be. If I am in a meeting, my coworkers sit by the phone for me at 3:07PM. They are my backup; my son and I are lucky to be part of the DGWB family.

Can I say again how lucky I am to be here? Thanks DGWB for making my life a little easier!

“It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy,

fathers would do it.” - The Golden Girls

I apologize in advance if any men are offended by this quote, but being a good mom is hard work, juggling that with a career in advertising is exhausting! This blog is going to be written by different moms at DGWB, so please come back often to get different points of view.

Working moms basically have two full time jobs; here is some data that I didn’t make up:

-          Moms with a full-time job spend 13+ hours working at the office and at home on family chores each day.

-    Moms spend 2.7 hrs per day on primary childcare, vs. 1.2 hours for dads.

People who want an easy job don’t settle on careers in advertising, this is a fast paced, service-oriented business. My job is to lead the client’s business and manage the relationships, that means being available pretty much 24/7 (frankly, life was much less hectic before cell phones and email). And even when you take a vacation, you need to be available as the client’s business doesn’t pause when you do. In the spring I went to Mammoth for a 5-day snowboard trip and I spent 1/3 of my time working as we had a burning client issue. Luckily for me I have great clients and helping solve their problems is what I love to do. However, my 5-year old son was not so forgiving, he wanted me to himself for those days, and let his feelings be known. Balance is a word you hear a lot these days, I think all working parents struggle with finding that balance where you feel you have given 100% at work and you still have enough energy left for your children. And then there is the added pressure of the SuperMoms who make us all look bad. They have their kids reading before they turn 5, they are impeccably dressed at all times (preferably in designer clothes), they sign them up for every sport imaginable, they enroll them in private schools that cost more than I paid for college…you know the type…..why do you think Baby Einstein became so popular? These SuperMoms make me feel guilty about my own parenting skills. My husband assures me our kid will be just fine, that he gets plenty of love and attention, but I still worry that I am damaging him by not being home with him, ah guilt, it works wonders on our psyche.